I think we all probably try to identify the characteristic of our parents we like and dislike and then attempt to emulate the ones we like. I believe in a mixture of nature vs. nurture therefore I would say we may have some success in doing this but some of it is out of our control.
A characteristic of my mothers I have always strived to emulate is her unwavering confidence.
I could go into a long rant about body image and the media and how hard it is to be a confident woman in todays world but I think that sort of sums it up so a mini rant will work instead. I am very interested in health and fitness and I think I have a normal fascination with beautifying. I work out almost everyday, try to be conscious of what I eat, and while I spend little time primping I do not leave the house without mascara. I would say I am probably the most confident I have been right now... and by other peoples standards I am sure I am still relatively insecure. It is a battle and any woman who says it is not... lies... and maybe she is onto something because she might believe her own lie... either way this blog is not about lies good or bad.
I remember being in my very early twenties maybe even nineteen and talking to my mom about how I compared myself to everyone else. Every woman I met had something about her I wished I could have. I was destroying myself by picking parts of people and trying to build myself out of them. This is impossible! I was already built... and I needed to be spending that time appreciating and caring for what I was given. My mom said "someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter." She told me about how she was insecure when she was my age and looking back she is pissed at herself for being that way. She says that she never knew how beautiful she was then... she would always follow that with "you are even more beautiful". She told me about how she would do the same comparing but eventually as she gained confidence she would see a beautiful woman and think "wow she is beautiful isn't she" rather than "I wish I was beautiful like her". My mom also made it clear that outer beauty fades and although in your twenties it may hold a lot of value, it should not hold it all. She made sure I knew there were other qualities about myself I should appreciate and spend time cultivating. (Maybe that is why I can't french braid? :) ) I knew she was right and I knew the women I admired most were not always the prettiest but they were smiling and confident. I knew that if I could learn to appreciate other peoples qualities rather than wish they were my own I would eventually appreciate what I have. And it worked.
I would be lying if I said this was it... the moment I stopped comparing. It was indeed the moment I knew comparing would do me no good but, I think it is natural to compare a little and sometimes be jealous. But I always remember that I am happy with what I have and more importantly I know that I am not just made up of my outside appearance but who I am as a person as well. I do think crossfit has been an outlet for me that helps with this issue. As I fell in love with crossfit I also started putting my body to work. And although I still see photos of tiny girls with perfect beach waves in their hair and think what the hell? I remember that I have a body that works for me everyday. I do not attempt to be skinny because it would not suit the lifestyle I have chosen. My hair is naturally stick straight and is usually up in a sweaty pony tail. And that is how I like it.
Today my mom and I sat on the back porch and she was reading something to me about cellulite, that she found on yahoo. Cellulite is one of those "characteristics" I was talking about before that you do not have control over inheriting. She read about a couple procedures you can have to minimize cellulite... the last one required an incision and all kinds of weird stuff. I cringed at the thought and told her "I will just live with a couple thigh dimples... I mean they don't bother me that much" She got up to head inside and looked at me with a smile on her face and said "The nice thing about my cellulite is... it has always been behind me." She laughed on her way in the door.
My mom is seriously one of the most beautiful women I know. She shines from the inside out. She has fun and laughs through life and always does what is best for her... sometimes thats putting on 15 bracelets and sometimes its wearing sneakers with a skirt :) She takes pride in her appearance and loves to brag about how beautiful her kids are but she knows there is so much more to life than looks. She always keeps it real and enjoys life. We both appreciate pop culture phenomenon like the selfie. But while some women spend an hour applying makeup and fake eye lashes just to post a selfie, I am glad that my mom has encouraged me to spend less time getting ready to go do things and more time going and doing them.
I have so much to thank her for... I will spend my entire life doing so. But this mothers day I will thank her for two things... My confidence and my cellulite.
Mom you are incredibly beautiful and you freakin rock!
#confidentwithcellulite
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